Matthew 19:1-12 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
We see in the above verses the Pharisees, those best versed in the Old Testament, asked Jesus a question. Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? The Pharisees well understood their society’s division on this issue of marriage. Some found no good reason for divorce, while others saw acceptable reasons such as infidelity in the marriage. Still other people looked only for happiness as paramount in any marriage; therefore, any condition dividing two people could be grounds for divorce. Such broad areas could offer many reasons for people to divorce. Jesus knew the Pharisees were trying to divide his followers over Jesus’ perception of divorce, for He had a large following, large crowds followed him. Jealous of Jesus’ popularity, they wanted to bring him down in the eyes of the people. But Jesus does not swallow their bait; instead, He tells them how God considers marriage. Of course, Jesus is of the same opinion. “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? He puts down these scholars of the scripture with this statement, for Jesus knows they have read these scriptures many times and even memorized them. By referring to God, he deflects his answer to God’s decision about marriage. The Creator made male and female for a one-on-one relationship to live as one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. The implication in this pronouncement of oneness connotes not only companionship, but a joining together to create new life as God created new life. Procreation is a primary purpose for the oneness in marriage. Adam knew his wife and she bore Cain. Of course, sex is meant to be enjoyable so that men and women would desire to be joined together as one. But in our age, and in past ages, sex for the sake of sex alone is often considered the only reason two should come together. We loosely place the term LOVE on even a one night venture, rather than a lasting commitment between two people. Such use of a precious word makes love a sloppy word with little meaning. Marriage in man’s eyes, even the chosen Israelites, became distorted. Viewing marriage as the path to self-indigence and self-fulfillment leads men to forsake procreation and any thought of lasting commitment. When Paul in some of his letters enumerates man’s sinfulness, he lists numerous sexual indulgences: sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, orgies, licentiousness, fornication, adultery, and the like. Jesus goes to the heart of this defilement of marriage by saying the hardness of the heart is the reason for broken commitments in a marriage. Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. Even the chosen, the Israelites, had to be given freedom to break the covenant of marriage easily. In a patriarchal society, men were given the privilege to break this established God-given covenant with any excuse at all. This reveals clearly why the prophets of old castigated the Israelites as fornicators and adulterers. For they were not only willing to freely give up on their marriages to their wives, they were just as freely willing to give up on God and follow other gods. As the breaking of a marriage between two people, this willingness to break covenant broke the heart of God.
Jesus takes this relationship of man and woman back to the beginning of time: it was not this way from the beginning. The covenant between man and God was broken by Adam and Eve in the Garden. From that time on mankind is in constant flux, breaking covenant with God and with each other. Marriage is considered a sacred covenant, established by God and supported by his laws. But as Peter said, which one of us has been able to follow God’s law, implying that none of us have been able to do that. Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke (the law) that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear? (Acts 15:10) Even the most sacred covenant between God and man or between man and man or woman and woman or man and woman is opened to be broken. Humans are covenant breakers, sinners. The disciples realized immediately what Jesus is saying about marriage. If man is so incapable of doing what is right, by keeping a marital covenant, is it not better to not get married. The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” If we do not marry, then we will not bring the wrath of God on us. They understood fully why Jesus referred back to God’s intention for the sacredness of oneness in the marriage covenant. Willfully breaking covenant with God or each other is a serious decision. Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” Jesus said that these words that He was speaking are for those who are willing to accept a covenant as binding. Eunuchs are not held to his words, neither were those who considered marriage as not an option for themselves. Some will even dedicate their lives in celibacy for the kingdom of God. But for those who are considering marriage, these words of his were to be a warning to them. Covenants with God or with man are serious, written down in heaven. Sexual promiscuity and licentiousness will not be tolerated as an excuse for breaking covenant with your spouse. Eunuchs, because of their physical condition, are not held to this obligation, but men and women who are physically able to have sex should consider fidelity as foundational to any relationship within the context of marriage. If you are open to marriage, accept this condition of fidelity as being central to your relationship. The one who can accept this should accept it.
In our present world, sexuality and self-gratification are everywhere—fidelity often flouted in what we see in the media and on electronic devices. We are encouraged to have new experiences, maybe those that are not acceptable by the society at large, such as pornography. In our advertisements, we see almost everything sold through the lens of sexuality. We are encouraged to live life to its fulness because we only go around once. But this virus of self in every area, especially in sexuality, is a covenant breaker in every sense of the word. We will break covenant with others quickly if we live lives of self-indulgence. We will not be servants or slaves to anyone, for we have only one life to live. Do not ask us to step aside in our lives and prefer others before ourselves. But serving God and others is what brings strength to any relationship or community. Covenants are meant to be kept. God’s plan for humans was for them to connect with each other in oneness. Marriage is the ultimate example of oneness. Sexual impurity or self-gratification are the opposite of oneness, of cohesiveness. Paul talks to the Thessalonians about impure relationships that scatter rather than gather together in oneness. It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. (2 Thessalonians 4:1-7) God is calling us to be together in the body of Christ. We are all one IN CHRIST as his body. Covenants are part of our commitment to each other. Marriage is a good example of the relationship we have with Christ. The Pharisees wanted to catch Jesus in saying something that would divide his followers. But Jesus just points back to the beginning when the loving Father made human beings. He made them to be happy, to occupy the earth and to multiply. But happiness has been redefined: our will, not yours God. But Jesus said, it was not this way from the beginning. God has made man and woman to be happy with each other and to be satisfied in that relationship of one with each other and oneness with God. All of this is not to say that if you are a divorced person, there is no hope for you in God’s kingdom. If you read the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4, you will see that even though she had been married four times and the man she was with was not her husband, Jesus reached out to her and said, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:1) We can come to Jesus at any time, and his grace is sufficient for us.
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