Matthew 5:31-33 It has been said, "Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.” But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made."
In the above passage, we see Jesus talking about a very solemn arrangement between man and woman in the Jewish society: marriage. In the Jewish culture and in most cultures of the world, marriage is foundational in maintaining a cohesive society. In the Christian and Jewish traditions, this union is brought before God, for him to recognize this relationship as a permanent condition, verifying what God intended in the beginning of time. “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6) As with the beginning the two are to be one, expressing the totality of God’s personality: femininity and masculinity. Eve was brought out of Adam, established as a separate entity because Adam needed relationship with someone like him. In marriage these two natures will conceive children. This relationship established by an oath of fidelity to one another is before God, and it is to be a permanent one. Because of the spiritual nature of the marriage ceremony and because other people are involved in certifying this relationship as one, marriage is something that cannot be broken easily. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9) If we are desiring to be accepted as one before God, we are establishing a permanent record in heaven, and which one of us can break a covenant that God has written down as permanent—no man or woman can do that. No person can reach into heaven and change the established record that God has recorded in his book of relationships; we cannot scratch out a condition of oneness that He has affirmed. Breaking an oath of any kind is dangerous with God or man, but breaking a marital vow is extraordinarily dangerous, for marriage has been authenticated by God. Breaking up a marriage has divine consequences; but it also has natural consequences on Earth. When people fail to keep their marriages intact, whole, by seeking other relationships, they harm the children who have been conceived in these ephemeral relationships. The lack of permanency, consistency, and security in children’s lives from divorce may bring dissension and instability in the surrounding culture. Children need parents in their lives who model commitment, servanthood, and enduring love. Jumping from one marital situation to another or from one mate to the other does not produce the security and guidance that young people need to have successful and productive lives. Marriages should serve as a permanent, foundational base, a building block for growing strong individuals and society as a whole. Without such a condition, breaking the marital contract often brings disruption to everyone involved in the dissolution of a marriage. Mom used to serve school districts by testing students’ writing skills. Often they wrote about a significant event in their lives. Many young people wrote about their parents’ divorce and its effect on them. One young man said, “The worst thing about divorce is that it never ends.” We have never forgotten his heartfelt cry. The pain, the sorrow, the feelings of guilt, the longings to go back to how it was when things were good—it never ends. Do parents really understand what they do to their children’s hearts and minds?
In God’s economy we are not to break the marriage covenant, for it is a very solemn event—one that man and God stamped with their approval. But mankind is an inveterate covenant breaker. That is why Moses had to give the Israelites permission to break their marital agreements. Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. Jesus, the Son of God, judged the condition of their hearts as the opposite of soft, as unmalleable as stone. They would not keep their marriage covenants even though they were made before God. They disdained and rejected the fact that the living God knew and recorded who they were to be permanently attached to as one entity. They did not care; they did not fear God’s judgment because they were natural covenant breakers. They were not going to be obedient to any authority but their own. They felt free to break any covenant, whether solemn or just on a minor issue. Jesus said, Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made. Of course in the ancient societies, cooperation and stability were dependent on a man’s words. If he made an oath to someone or to the community, he was expected by everyone to fulfill that oath. If he failed to keep his word, he would bring problems and disruption into that society. People would no longer trust this person. Today, police officers keep order within a community, enforcing the written laws established for people to follow for the good of all. In our society, we have the expectation that those around us will be peaceable, organized, and cooperative. We also trust in law enforcement and the legal system to protect us when laws are broken or people become disorderly. In older cultures, without police and established commandments, ones words or oaths were essential in keeping things orderly and functioning well. If people failed to fulfill their vows to others, the people who were affected had to rectify the situation. To keep the Israelite community from breaking down into violence and chaos with people taking vengeance on each other because of marital disputes, Moses allowed divorces. He developed a procedure for orderly and possibly amicable separation, but Jesus said it was the hardness of the people’s hearts that necessitated this procedure of divorce. Jesus said that people with hard hearts do not want their deeds exposed to God’s light. He said, Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. (John 3:19) In this same passage, Jesus goes on to say, that when we walk in light we walk in truth, and that everything we do is seen by God. We deceive ourselves if we think we can hide our evil thoughts and actions from an all-seeing and all-knowing God.
As with all hardness of the heart, God had to provide for a way to save the deceivers, the covenant breakers. Jesus the Son of God became THE WAY. He said, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6) Marriage before God is a permanent condition in the annuals of God. All oaths are written down as permanent before God. Our words and actions will meet us in heaven when we die, for God is a just God, his ways are always right and true. We will not escape any part of our lives if we come to him alone in our righteousness. Every wayward act or lack of allegiance to him will be judged; every sin we committed will be judged in eternity. No unrighteousness will enter into heaven. Well then, what about marriage? What about the sin that God knows we have committed? How will we escape the judgment of God if we are intractable covenant breakers? Of course the answer is that WE NEED A SAVIOR. We need someone who makes the record in heaven as white as snow, who brings himself before God, rather than the record book of rights and wrongs. The Good News is that God has paid the price for all of our failings and poor decisions. Marriages might be dissolved for many reasons, sometimes for very good reasons, such as a man or woman is abusive and harmful to the wellbeing of the others. No man or woman sits in a poison patch and expects to not be poisoned. If you sit in a clump of nettles, you will be stung. If you sit in a den of vipers, you will be bitten. All situations are different in a marriage, but God has ordained marriage as a condition of stable relationships between man and woman, one that can bring forth healthy children. But marriage can also be harmful to children if the family is inherently evil. God knows all about the situation, and He is a God of mercy and grace. He does not expect people to remain in a harmful or injurious place. I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. (Jonah 4:2 NLV) Only one can rectify the mistakes we make in life, only one can forgive us, only one can turn the world 180 degrees around, so that goodness can come out of disruption and evil. Jesus Christ is his name. Yes, we should keep our oaths; our allegiance to others and to laws should be kept. Yes, we should be completely honest in all of arrangements with others, but we are humans. The human nature needs a Savior if it is going to abide with God in a perfect state called eternity. WE NEED A SAVIOR! Praise God for Jesus who died on the cross for us. He will strengthen you by the power of the Holy Spirit to keep your promises and your vows. Amen! Love, Dad and Mom
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