2 Corinthians 2:1-11

2 Corinthians 2:1-11  So I made up my mind that I would not make another painful visit to you.  For if I grieve you, who is left to make me glad but you whom I have grieved?  I wrote as I did so that when I came I should not be distressed by those who ought to make me rejoice.  I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy.  For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.  If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent — not to put it too severely.  The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him.  Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.  I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.  The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything.  If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him.  And what I have forgiven — if there was anything to forgive — I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us.  For we are not unaware of his schemes.

In this passage Paul refers to a letter that is not in the Bible in which he recommended a disciplinary action for a man who was bringing a reproach on the church by his willful activities.  Paul said he wrote the letter so I should not be distressed by those who ought to make me rejoice.  He wrote this letter of severity out of great love for the man and out of his love for the Corinthian church.  Paul says the punishment inflicted on the formerly recalcitrant man is enough, and now the church should forgive him and COMFORT him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.  Definitely the man was repentant; he was no longer standing in defiance of the church's actions.  Paul is now telling the church to restore this person to fellowship and to forgive him as Christ constantly forgives them for the sake of his body.  

I believe the above passage is a template of how to react to a friend who has wronged you or for approaching a child after discipline: forgive, comfort, reaffirm your love.  The latter should be done more with actions than words.  Otherwise, with an adult there should be hugs and even a kiss, a meal together, and letters of affirmation exchanged.  With a child hugs, kisses, and treats, such as cookies and milk.  Words alone sometimes get in the way of restoration, for the child especially might perceive anger or condemnation in them.  Punishment when necessary should be quick, definitive, and with anguish.  I don't agree with anyone who punishes out of anger or a spirit to get back at the child or to teach him a "good" lesson by being harsh.  Punishment should never be easy on one's emotions.  Paul said his letter of severity brought tears to his eyes, for he did not want to be harsh with his beloved Corinthians.  We also should have a broken heart and tears when we punish or when we confront a difficult problem.  

I once taught with a teacher who rejoiced over telling parents about their child's bad behavior in the classroom.  He enjoyed getting his students in trouble with their parents, for then they would be "paid back" for all the problems they caused him in the classroom.  I told him that was the wrong spirit.  He should not want to see his students hurt because he was mad at them.  We should not want to see a friend or child hurt because we are mad.  If we discipline this way or treat each other this way, we are giving room for Satan to work his wiles in the situation.  Many Christian parents lose their children to the world emotionally because of their harshness and lack of forgiveness.  Children oftentimes hold a standing resentment against their parents even into adulthood because they were mistreated as young, vulnerable children.  If we fail to restore to fellowship a believer who has sinned, we have given that person over to sin and frustrated the grace of God, saying there is no hope for the healing and restoring power of God's grace.  

Even under the best of circumstances, judgment, criticism, or discipline wrongly applied can be dangerous tools for correcting behavior.  We must bring correction sensitively and well.  Pushing hard against someone usually causes the offender to push back.  Humans are made that way; it is a survival technique evident in the very youngest of us--to defend our territory.  A baby that feels mistreated will cry for hours.  As Christians we have experienced love and forgiveness that boggles the mind.  While we were yet sinners, God loved us.  While we were in the midst of rebellion, He loved us.  When we deserved to be wiped off the face of the earth because of cancerous sin, his Son died for us.  Yes, even now in our imperfect lives, He tells us, "I abide in you."  Yes, sometimes his love is expressed towards us in discipline, for we are not bastards, but the greater story is that we are strongly bonded to him by unremitting love.  The wooing of the Spirit is always deep within our hearts.  This is the story of a good parent, one who is closer than a brother: forgive, comfort and reaffirm your love BY ACTIONS.  Love Dad (Cliff)

(I am taking a respite for the next week.  Please use this time to go to the Word and eat of the bounteous feast the Lord has provided.  See you soon.)