Ephesians 5:25-27

Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Philippians 2:3-7 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

The admonition from Paul that husbands love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her may very well be the most powerful words in the Bible concerning a Christian family. JESUS GAVE HIMSELF FOR HIS BRIDE TO MAKE HER HOLY. As the head of the family, the husband sets the tone and serves as an example of Christ to his wife and children. If a man gives himself fully for his wife, exhibits faithfulness in deed and thought, loves without thought of reciprocation, goes the extra mile, gives up his cloak and his tunic too, and turns the other cheek when attacked, he will reflect the characteristics of a Christian leader, the attributes of Christ.

How can a fleshly man be such a leader, such a servant? With God all things are possible through Christ in us and the abiding resurrection power of the Holy Spirit who urges and empowers us to yield to God. Leaders in the world execute orders, demand allegiance, and often reflect a rigid demeanor that demands respect and tolerates no foolishness. In some families the husband maintains strict order with a firm hand, and his needs come first. A traditional Moslem husband rules from a position of authority: if the wife displeases her husband, he has the power to discipline her harshly, shun or reject her, and even cast her out. Throughout time many societies have given men authority to do such things, following the law of the jungle: the strongest survive and rule. Yet the word of God instructs the husband not to rule out of strength, but to lead and guide as a servant, one who gives all without reservation, one who prefers others before himself.

When a man will not speak to his wife because he is angry or disappointed with her, he portrays a fleshly way of ruling, by disaffirming her and rejecting her A man who strikes back at a woman with brute physical force or with cruel and cutting words definitely does not manifest the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. He has rejected biblical truth and Christ's reign in his life by lifting up his own self-centered and unloving ways of ruling. He has literally removed Christ from the throne of his life. Jesus turned the world upside down with his teachings: strength is weakness, weakness is strength; the first will be last, the last will be first. The reign of a harsh dictator is inept and temporary; servants exhibit godly attributes that last for eternity. When the life of a faithful servant comes to an end, he will hear: Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. (Matthew 25:23 KJV) The tyrant consumes and destroys while the servant multiplies his talents as he invests in the lives of others.

The Holy Spirit teaches us Christ's ways, conforms us to his image. As we express his likeness, his loving kindness and tender mercy, we become light in a dark world, salt that brings savor to every situation. When we succumb to fleshly desires instead of the leading of the Spirit, our lives darken and stagnate, producing tasteless fruit rather than heavenly manna for the hungry. Children of the most high serve others, revealing God's love to the world. Servanthood begins at home. When a husband is slow to anger and quick to forgive, he shows the kindness and goodness of the Lord and leads his family into an intimate relationship with God. However, the husband who chooses flesh over Spirit leads his family into discord, anger, and even rebellion. The Spirit of God brings unity and love; the fleshly spirit brings turmoil and bitterness. God ordained men to head the family, but the leadership of a Christian family is a sacred honor, an awesome responsibility, totally impossible without the Spirit of God in control. Leading, protecting, and loving a family demands total commitment to Christ and obedience to the Spirit's voice. Jesus took on the likeness of man to die on the cross; we take on the likeness of God to die to ourselves and to come alive unto God. That is true leadership, divine love.